Blind Faith
by StarbuckStar
Summary: Starsky decides to quit his job and start a new life. Hutch is assigned a new partner. Can things stay that way or..?


**Blind Faith**

Part 1

Pain shot through my whole body as I tried to move. I hissed and bit my lip very hard, I could taste the blood in my mouth. I couldn't move again and cause the unbearable pain to attack so I laid still instead. I couldn't keep that up for long though; the thought of my partner forced my conscious to stay.

I moved my head to the other side, searching as far as my sight would allow. I caught a glimpse of the blond head. I moved my head further, and I could see the prone figure of my partner, laying very still.

My heart started to beat with panic. I called his name but there was no response.

"Hutch?" I cried louder but it was more of a cough than a call.  
Hutch didn't move.

I tried to reach him - stretched my arms as far as I could, ignoring the needles of pain that poked my body without mercy. Yet I was unable to reach him. To touch him.

"Hutch, Come on Partner. Wake up."

Hopelessness overtook me as I could do nothing but stare at my partner who laid on the floor so vulnerable. I could feel the flames getting near yet I could do nothing about it. I could only watch.

I cursed myself for being so helpless and cursed the object that was pinning me down and paralyzing me. Hutch could get out of this. He could survive if I could help him. If I could only touch him! I allowed a scream of frustration to escape me as I hit the ground with my fists again and again. When I finally gave up and   
turned back to where my partner lay, Hutch's confused blue eyes   
greeted me.

"Hutch," relief showed clear in my voice.

Hutch glassy eyes started to close again, raising my panic once again.

"Hutch, NO. Wake up! Come on Partner..." I screamed and begged excitedly.

At the sound of my panic cries, Hutch blinked his eyes, trying desperately to fight the film of darkness that threatened to claim him back. I kept urging him till his eyes stayed open and  
concentrated on my face.

"Hutch?" I said hopefully.

He began to lift himself up, grunting and clutching his middle in obvious pain. There was blood seeping from the corner of his mouth and more blood covering his shirt. I tried not to think of that as I concentrated on my partner's ashen face.

"Hutch, listen buddy. You gotta get out of here. Walk away now!"

Hutch managed to stand and walk but not in the direction I wanted him to. He walked towards me not away. His steps were weak and I feared he was going to fall back down as he swayed

dangerously on his feet. He finally reached me and kneeled by my side. That must've drained his remaining energy for I felt his body drop heavily against my chest.

I could feel his heavy breathing and hear the wild beats of his heart. His head was against my neck and under my chin, I could smell his familiar scent. I lifted my arms to hold him, not minding the pain that move caused me. I felt his body relax and feared the obvious; that he was slipping back under. I shook him urgently.

"Hutch come on partner. Open your eyes. You gotta wake up," I continued to shake him awake.

I felt him stir against me and move. He struggled to sit up. Our eyes met. 

I could feel the heat against my back at that point and saw him look  
in the direction of the nearing fire. I saw the shadows of the  
flames reflecting in my partner's eyes. I clutched his wrist tightly.

"Hutch," I tried to sound as tough as I could be. "Listen, you get  
out of here, right now. No use of us both getting killed. Go on."

He shrugged my hand off, not even bothering to respond. He struggled to lift the weight off of me. I tried to stop him, to tell him it was no use but he just wouldn't budge.

It wasn't long before he fell against me from sheer exhaustion..

"Can't," he murmured as he buried his face in my neck.

"Hutch,.." I lifted his head up. He was losing consciousness fast. "You must get help, okay Hutch? Go get help, buddy." It was like trying to convince a child. Like that time when we were trapped and told that kid to go get help where we only wanted her out and  
safe.

He held my hand and looked at me. "It's alright," was all he said.   
He turned and for a fraction of a second I thought he was really going to walk away but he turned to my other side instead and I felt his arms go around me.

It took me time before realising what Hutch was doing. My partner knew there was no way he'd reach help in time, let alone in his state. He did the only thing he could think of to help me. He shielded my body with his so the angry flames would get to him before it gets to me. He was protecting me even then! His head rested on my chest.

"No, WAKE UP," I screamed as I shook him. His breathing was getting calmer and more even. I panicked knowing he was slipping into darkness. I started to hit him and cry out his name. "WAKE UP, DAMN YOU!" But he was limp against me.

I closed my eyes as another wave of pain cursed through my body and welled tears in my eyes. Burying my nose deeper into my partner's blond hair, I breathed in his scent. That brought calmness to my very soul.

I had my arms around my partner's limp body in a bear hug. My hand traveled to his hair where my fingers caressed the golden locks and toyed.

"It's alright, partner. It's alright," I repeated his exact words.

It isn't bad. Not really. Dying here with my partner in my arms.  
It's how I wanted to die all along. He could've walked away - saved himself but instead he chose to die with me. I closed my eyes and tightened my grip on my partner as I willed darkness to come.

GGGGGGGGG

When I opened my eyes next, a familiar face greeted me. It was the face of my famous Captain, Dobey. I blinked trying to focus. I was lying in a hospital bed. A place, well familiar to me.

"How you feeling, Dave?" Dobey asked.

"Hutch?" was my husky response.

The captain turned to the other side of the room. When I followed his lead I saw my partner laying on the next bed with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. I sighed with relief.

"He's okay?" I wanted to know.

"You both gonna be okay," Dobey emphasized.

I nodded and turned to the other side, staring at the wall.

"That was close," he said after few silent moments. Funny how it was the exact thing running through my mind.

GGGGGGGG

Two days before we were released, I stood, staring at the shining moon from the window in our hospital room.

It was quite late, Hutch was sound asleep. I turned to stare at my sleeping partner. Watched intently as his chest rose and fell in an almost perfect rhythm. Watched his face, his calm and peaceful  
expression and fought hard not to cry. I turned back to stare at the moon. The sight of its perfection calmed me and soon I was laughing at myself for being silly. Many thoughts raced in my head causing a headache. I sighed deeply.

"Starsk?" my partner's quiet voice reached me.

I spun around to meet his worried eyes.

"You alright?"

I nodded. I wasn't sure I could do this. I walked to him and sat near him on bed. His eyes searched my face. I held his hand and met his eyes.

"Hutch, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

He waited patiently for me to continue. It was harder than I thought.

"I,..well,.. I decided to quit."

He just stared at me. Why wasn't he saying anything?

"Starsky,.." he began when I was beginning to believe he'd never do, "I know how you feel, really. It's going to be alright. We're both fine, aren't we?" he smiled playfully.

I shook my head. I knew what he was thinking: It was just like the other times-only it wasn't.

"It's not like before," I tried to explain. "Hutch, I really thought about this. I mean I really did. I want out. I want to be normal, Hutch. I wanna get married, have kids and not worry about 'em getting shot. You know what I mean? I want to settle down Hutch. I really do."

He nodded but I really couldn't read his expression. I knew he understood what I was saying. I knew he thought about it too. I went on.

"I can't take this anymore. Crazy people coming after us, trying to make us pay for doing our job. Hutch, you know what I mean. I really thought we were gonna die that night." I paused to meet his eyes. I still couldn't read 'em. His face was pale.

"I asked Anny to marry me." I stopped, "We decided to move to Canada. You know, where she works. I'm gonna find some job out there and settle down." I finished.

He was quiet. Very quiet. I didn't like it.

"She asked you to?"

I knew that was coming. My partner never liked Anny. He only pretended to for my sake but I knew. I always knew.

I shook my head. "It's our decision."

"So that's what you wanna do?"

I nodded, hardly.

He was quiet again. I could tell he was hurting. I felt it because I was hurting too. But what should I do? I can't stay like this forever. Hutch's my best friend, my partner and I love him with all my heart  
but he can't offer me everything I need. I can't marry him, have kids and be a cop for the rest of my life. We can't survive death forever. One day luck will desert one of us and leave the other alone. I'm not sure I could survive that. 

"Fine," he said as he shrugged my hand off. I looked at him but he just avoided my eyes.

"You're a big boy Starsk. You don't need me telling you what to do and you don't need my

permission to do anything. If that's what you really want, then go ahead," he said harshly.

"Hutch,.." I cleared my throat. "I want you to come with me. I mean you always said we're gonna quit together, right?"

"Well, partner, I'm not ready yet. And you don't expect to drag me into your bedroom with Anny!"

I understood what he meant to say. It was a choice. My choice: him or Anny and I can't chose both.

I stared at my feet. "I want you there in my wedding," I said softly.

"I'm really tired, Starsky." I tried to touch him, but he just turned his back to me and faced the wall. I hurt him, it's that simple. It took all I had to fight back a sob. I turned and sat on my own bed.

"Good night, partner." I didn't receive a reply.

GGGGGGG

A week later I stood in the airport, Anny by my side, her arms around my waist, she was smiling happily. Dobey and Huggy were there too. They were talking but I wasn't listening. I was searching the crowd for a sign of my partner. Hutch wouldn't do this to me. Would he?

Anny pulled my arm playfully, told me it was time, that we were late already. I looked at them pleadingly. He'll come. I know he will. Dobey and Huggy understood. I couldn't leave without seeing my partner. I won't.

"Starsky," I turned at Dobey's signal. Hutch was standing right there-finally. He looked awful, but he was there, holding something in his hand. I left them and walked to him.

I stopped once I reached him. We stared at each other for what seems an eternity.

"I thought you'd never come," I said.

"I couldn't."

He then handed me the package in his hand. I accepted it without words. 

"Couldn't think of anything to write," he explained softly.

I shook my head. "No need to. I know."

"I'll miss you. You know I'll always be here if you need me." His eyes glittered with tears.

I lifted my hand and touched his face, not caring if anyone watched. My own tears fell as I managed to say the words I heartily felt. "I love you, partner."

He nodded. "I love you too."

"I know."

He smiled sadly.

"You'll be at my wedding?"

"You bet."

I pulled him close and we hugged. I clutched him so tightly, I didn't want to let go. I cried against him and I felt him shake too. After awhile he pulled away and took few steps back.

"You better go or you'll miss your plane."

"Yeah," I said as I brushed my tears away.

"Call me when you get there?"

I nodded. He turned and walked away.

"Hutch?"

He stopped and turned back.

"Quit soon, will ya? Don't wanna keep worrying 'bout you all the time."

He smiled and then continued to walk away. I just watched as he disappeared into the crowd.

In the plane I opened the package to find what Hutch had bought me.  
It was the plane from that toy-store. I remembered admiring it and asking how much it costs. It was very expensive.. "A collectible," the man had said. Hutch kept making fun of it and me for days I thought he'd never stop. But he remembered and he cared and his thought was what touched me so deeply. I was chocked up with emotion, while Anny held me in her arms and people watched.

GGGGGGGG

Yeah, Hutch was right there, standing beside me, at my wedding. He was smiling and making jokes all the way, but I knew better. After the wedding, he left again, and it broke my heart to see him leave.

At first I called him almost everyday. He did too, but stopped after awhile. I guess he sensed Anny's uncomfort. When he didn't answer the phone, I'd call Huggy and demand to know if Hutch's hurt or in trouble. Poor Huggy had to assure me Hutch was fine every time I called.

When I learned that Hutch was assigned to a new partner, I felt something tear inside of me. It hurt.

GGGGGGGG

Me and Anny fought allot. I was sitting on the couch one day, after one of our fights, and decided right then to call Hutch. I needed to hear his voice. I called his place but no one picked up so I called Huggy Bear.

"Is that you, Starsky?" Huggy's voice came through.

"Yeah, who else?" I joked, "So how's it going, Huggy?"

"Uh, it's alright. How's Anny?" Huggy sounded funny and that made me worry.

"Huggy, is something wrong? Is Hutch okay?" I demanded.

"I don't know Starsky. I can't get hold of him."

"He in trouble?"

"The word in the streets is: Hunter's after him and Paul."

"Paul?"

"Hutch's new partner," Huggy explained.

"Oh, yah," I murmured, "So, where's Hutch?"

"I don't know. 'Been trying to get hold of him for hours. But don't go worrying Starsky. He's probably ..."

"Tell me more." I cut him off rudely.

GGGGGGGG

Two days later, I was storming into 'The Bits.' Huggy didn't look surprised to see me. He knew.

"Huggy, where's he?" I asked, out of breath.

Huggy took me by the arm and made me sit down.

"Starsky, there'd been an accident."

Oh God, please no!

"Hutch's been hurt."

GGGGGGGG

I rushed into the waiting room. I saw Dobey first then I spotted the man pacing nervously back and forth. Dobey stood up upon seeing me, a surprised look on his face. The strange man stopped pacing. I approached them.

"Starsky?"

"Hi Captain. Any words yet?" I asked grimly.

"Not yet," Dobey answered, "When did you arrive?" he demanded.

"Few hours ago," I stated bluntly.

Dobey nodded. I then eyed the brown-haired man standing next to him. He was covered in blood. Hutch's blood!

"Starsky, this is Paul, Hutch's partner. Paul, this is Starsky."

We glared down at each other but nodded our hi's anyway. A strange feeling ran through me when I saw Paul, my partner's new partner. He was a handsome, medium-built man, slightly taller than me. I sensed his own uncomfort upon seeing me.

"How bad is it?" I asked Dobey.

"We don't know." It was Paul who answered. "We've been standing here for hours, Dammit!" he spat angrily, "What the hell are they doing back there?"

I said nothing. I just stared at him as he started to pace nervously and angrily again.

Who does that guy think he is? You're not worried about him more than I am, Pal! I thought angrily.

A doctor walked to us and we all stood waiting impatiently for the report. The doctor smiled. "Detectice Hutchinson will be fine. The bullet did no serious damage. His wound should heal in time."

The three of us sighed with relief. The doc looked at Paul, and smiled. "He's asking for his partner. You can go see him. The pain medication is probably making him groggy though. He's in room 112, down the hall."

"Thank you," with that, Paul practically ran to Hutch's room.

I felt the blood drain from my face at the time. Mixed feelings fought inside of me. I wanted to grap that guy, spin him around hard, and scream in his face. I wanted to yell that Hutch was asking for me not him. That he has no right taking my place. That it was my right and my place to be with my partner right now not his. But I didn't. I watched as Paul made his way to Hutch's room.

"Starsky?" Dobey's voice brought me back from the other world. I looked up at him.

"He doesn't know you're here," he explained. "Let him know you're here."

"Yeah," I agreed and made my own way to Hutch's room.

GGGGGGGGG


End file.
